The Grinch comes to Neptune
by Bufflytica
Summary: Veronica's Camera is missing Christmas day and the Grinch took it. The twist is, the Grinch is a Communist.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue to Grinch V. Veronica Mars:

Note:

Once upon time, there was a green creature called a Grinch. It lived in a cave near a town called Neptune. He said to himself "The souls of the Whos in Neptune are in joy as it is Christmas Eve" while making a sweater and antlers for his dog Max. The Grinch wanted to steal gifts so Christmas would end. He had hated Christmas ever since his blue furred brother, the Grunch, had been killed by a horde of Pokemon fans who crushed in on Black Friday in 1999. The Grunch's last words were screaming "Jim Carrey, do not catch that Charmeleon" at a man who vaguely looked like the actor. His biggest target was a teenage girl who lived with her single, divorced father.

Veronica was celebrating Christmas Eve by watching _The Wedding Singer_ with her Dad. Veronica laughed when the grandmother rapped and enjoyed every other second of the movie. After the movie asked her dad "What if the man I marry surprised me the way Adam did to Drew." Keith then said "It's just a movie, men aren't really like that." Veronica then went to bed, smiling.  
While she was sleeping, the new camera her dad had bought was stolen by the Grinch.

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Note: None of the movies mentioned in this chapter actually exist

Veronica woke up Christmas morning and shouted, "Daddy, the Christmas presents are gone." Keith then ran down the stairs and discovered it. Veronica quickly noticed, after the initial shock, a trail of gifts out of the window. Veronica decided to go outside and saw it had happened to everyone in Neptune. Veronica followed the trail while her dad kept the house safe and she noticed some of things dropped were of things she thought were terrible even as a little girl. Looking at a VHS cover, Veronica thought to herself "Who even watched _Pooh went to Rehab?,_ that sounds so depressing." She also thought, "even if they added a bunny voiced by Alyson Hannigan, it still would have been depressing."

Meanwhile, the Grinch was sipping down a cup of coffee in his warehouse while reading his favorite book, _The Communist Manifesto_. The Grinch said "whether it is slaves fighting lions, promises of Heaven, or commercialism, the rich will always find a way to exploit the poor." His plan for the goods was to burn them. The goal of this was for people to abandon Christmas and start working towards the goal of a Worker's Republic akin to what Lenin had dreamed of. He would start by burning Martin Lawrence's " _This Ain't Star Wars_ "first. Veronica, of course, had known about the Soviet Union from history class and was well aware that it was an economic disaster and extreme repression that left millions dead.

To be continued ...


	3. Chapter 3

Final Chapter.

Veronica and her dad finally found the Grinch's hideout after hours of searching. The Grinch said "Well, well well, isn't it the greedy blonde detective?" Veronica then said "I am not greedy, I just got a camera from my dad, who calls himself "Santa". Keith said "despite being a young woman, I like how how my daughter still has faith for good in the world." The Grinch then yelled and said "revolution is the only answer, and this culture run by greed embodied in McDonalds must be destroyed." The Grinch then hit Veronica with a mammoth piece of wood with a nail that tore her shirt, exposing her bare midriff to the cold.

Veronica was hit in the head and was bruised. Keith meanwhile had been chased into a corner by his "reindeer". The Grinch meanwhile was about to burn a DVD of the South Park movie when he went on a rant about Winona Ryder. The Grinch said "she is a greedy talentless Jew who shoplifted." Veronica said "why do you have to be such an anti-Semite, I know this Jewish girl at school named Sarah Cohen and she is very sweet."

The Grinch then barked "the Jews are part of the Bourgeoisie, as they control the banks and .." Keith, who had found a moldy hot dog to distract the "reindeer", then cut him off said "that is from a book forged by the Tsar, who you hero Lenin overthrew a few years later". The Grinch said "nice belly" as he saw the tear. Veronica then straggled along and slapped him. Veronica then rescued Keith, and then, chilled, they walked home. The Grinch then fled because he had never lost to a woman before and was a coward.

After the chilling walk home, given the tear in Veronica's shirt, they had coffee and rested. The Neptune police department was called by Keith and they confiscated the contents of the warehouse and gave it back to the town's people The next semester for Veronica would be interesting as she now had something to talk about. The fact she had beaten a Leninist Grinch and saved the town made her seen as a hero to the town. She then closed her eyes and went to sleep.


End file.
